The Cookie Crisis

'The Really Tubby Cookie Company' has been bailed out by the British Government to the tune of GBP40-Billion after last minute talks to save the company from collapse as a result of the Cookie Crunch that is sweeping the Global Biscuit Markets.

A spokesperson for H.M. Treasury had this to say on the controversial decision to intervene to stop what could have been the largest squishing of dough in the history of baking.

'Cookies are fundamental to the structure of the modern day diet. To have let 'Really Tubby' go under would have meant a devastating effect on the world as we know it. For could we, as a society, really function without the fresh injection of cookies into the system. Virtually every British household would have been adversely affected had this deal not gone ahead.'

Lord Fat Cat of 'The Really Tubby Cookie Company' is set to step down admitting that 'grave errors of judgement' had been made during his four month tenure at the head of Europe's largest dealer in Biscuit and Biscuit Based Commodities. Thanks to the lucrative contract that he was handed out and thanks to the lack of government care into how taxpayers money is spent (after all, Lord Fat Cat is a generous donor to the Government's Political Party) Lord Fat Cat will stand down retaining his share options, a GBP2-Million pay-off, a villa in the South of France and his chalet in the Swiss Alps as well as a free car parking space in the City of Westminster.

Quite how the Cookie Crisis exploded so spectacularly in the face of 'The Really Tubby Cookie Company' remains shocking now with 'hindsight'. Quite simply, 'Really Tubby' was handing out Cookies to anyone who waved a piece of paper saying 'IOU, Promise!'. Without the proper research into the Crunch Rating of individuals or companies, 'Really Tubby' lent out far more than it received and in the end, when liquidity in the Global Biscuit Market felt the lack of milk, 'The Really Tubby Cookie Company' was left without any biscuits in the tin.

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It remains to be seen how the crumbs from this latest bite into the Cookie Market will be received by traders when the exchanges reopen this Monday.